PRO TIP: Poking a hole with a thick needle (like a darning needle) or thumbtack first then putting the clove in the hole is a LOT easier than cramming the cloves into the orange.

I would like to dispute this using the substitution property of equality showing that Egg+X= Mayonnaise but Egg+Y=Eggnog, this shows that X does not equal Y, and mayonnaise does not equal eggnog and you are out of your mind because X is oil and Y is cream. 

Reading this review was like a balm to my heavy heart. Thank you so much for sharing it. 

Are there redheads in your family? I am also un-numb-able, and from what I understand there is something about a genetic mutation (MC1R has something to do with it but I don’t pretend to understand) that makes people with red hair, or people who are related to people with red hair, resistant to pain blockers and…

Say a business is in a death spiral, and the owner is bad at math. He blankets the town with ‘2 dinners for $30' coupons. And say that owner made cheap garbage food with cheap garbage ingredients and still couldn’t turn a profit and goes under. Then they sell to a new owner, who buys quality ingredients and sets…

Define “while parenting” — do you mean while engaged in childcare? Because that is not what this article is about. Do you mean “while you have a child at home, and you are out celebrating, because when you wake up in the morning you might feel like crap?” Because that is what the article is about, and which is…

Somewhere on my old desktop is a 10 minute video of my then-3-year-old shouting “Mom! Mom! Mom! MOOOM! MOOOOOOMMM!!!” while making faces at herself as I lay miserable and hung over on the couch, just offscreen. I saved it as a little memento of the decision I made the next day to never get hammered again.

Well of course she was found guilty. The whole point is being guilty of trespassing and disorderly conduct, otherwise it would be a less-daring case of Civil Obedience. It is in sentencing where this could get very dicey, and I hope we are all inspired by Okoumou’s bravery and willingness to accept risk should we need…

Whoa whoa whoa. She worked in Fellini’s office for a few years. That hardly makes Fellini part of a pedophile sex ring.

I only want her to be Mattie Ross in the Coen Brothers’ True Grit and wish she would be reasonable and put her hair back into two long sensible braids and spend all her time bossing people around whle using olde-timey words.

I think Christmas tree skirts are stupid. What is wrong with seeing the tree stand?

TRUE FACT: You can say things in a room full of books and still sound like a fucking idiot, if you believe in something dumb.

Rochelle!!!

Making corrections is hard.  

This isn’t necessarily the worst, but definitely most memorable — my workplace has a very large restroom in its lower level, with a decommissioned shower room in it. A weekly farmer’s market used to sell fresh hens right outside, and every week a group of custodian ladies would set up a hot plate, boil water, and…

I just had to hang out in a Cafe for an hour and ordered the cinnamon apple tea and spent the whole time thinking "I just paid $2.50 for a cup of water flavored with five cents worth of cinnamon and dust." I like tea at home but restaurant/Cafe tea is a stupid waste of money. Not as bad as unsweetened ice tea though!…

This is a weirdly ahistorical piece and even the briefest Google search reveals that yes, before Macy’s took over the parade it was fucking weird, but you have written about the wrong era. As scowlybrowspinster pointed out elsewhere, anyone who has seen Miracle on 34th Street knows that even in the 1940s, the parade…

My immediate response to these photos has nothing to do with the parade and everything to do with the details like:

Giant menstrual cup billboard dominating the space above the Thom McCan — evidence that our great advertising overlords are *more* shame-based and conservative, not less.

Children’s coats are…

Beets, Mountain Dew, sauerkraut, hard pretzels? Man you are in Pittsburgh.

You guys, you can get the Criterion Collection free at the library through Kanopy https://www.thewrap.com/how-to-watch-400-criterion-collection-films-online-free/