Exactly.

Very accurate.

Three point specialist here: The infamous "Dunk Shot" is objectively harder.

What's with the weird sports talk/ebonics debate taking place? I'm not going to claim full mastery of either, but the guys are clearly saying "You got walked." Am I going deaf?

Tsk tsk. I think you mean something along the lines of "Unfortunately, they were right." CLEAN IT UP, VALLEYS.

That's what I was thinking! FAUCET!

You know that saying about sufficiently advanced parody being indistinguishable from the real thing? This was not that.

Clooney's gay.

"The Denver offense centers around a quarterback who likes time in the pocket to throw the deep ball..."

I'm not sure I like your tone.

Booooooo, Lindy West. Boo.

Buried the lede big time here. Dwyane Wade shit the bed pretty forcefully; we should be grateful.

U forgot the "Hansel", guy who thinks "cool story bro" is the original form.

cool story

What if Roatti the White Tiger was BLACK?!?!

Through absolutely no fault of Harden's.

Blah blah blah is right, Jesus Christ. You still suck, Eifling.

Like millions of others, I say "gee-off" or "jee-off", mainly to punish the offender for being named "Geoff".

Does the "woman" have rasta dreads?

I can't tell if the fact that this piece HAD to be written by Greg is ironic or not...