They were calling it burpees when kids were doing it in gym in the 90s. It's not exactly a new phenomenon.

That just reinforces my point. What is it, exactly, that you're giving this coach props for? Lying to a small child? I don't see where that's impressive.

If the coach had the stones to tell the kid that he wasn't going to get any playing time because he wasn't good enough for the title game, I'd give him props for telling the kid a hard truth.

Is it inappropriate to heart you, comment_ninja? This gave me a fizzy feeling in my genitals (word to Captain Slow).

And when it comes to football, aren't percentages and algorithms all we really care about?

The original headline was something along the lines of "BMW PR kills 114 in Europe."

I play Elder Scrolls games. So... no. No, it isn't.

By the milkmaids of Vishnu, that is a terrible fucking headline. I was trying to figure out how BMW managed to kill 114 people.

You're missing a >, Kyle. And also a < / a >.

You can drop NESoid now. That smug feeling that the App Store would never let it fly isn't applicable since the Google Market doesn't let it fly, either.

And how did you get said virus?

Yup. And with Bouncer, you... won't.

I can't even imagine how many people have had their lives changed by the monkey scene. To find out that it wasn't real... for someone who stopped believing in the typical fairy tales (stork, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny) at a fairly early age, I can only imagine that this feeling I have in my chest is a faint shadow of…

Don't know what happened with your phone, but when I've run factory installs and/or purchased a new phone, one of the first things it does is go completely insane downloading all of my apps.

Justin Steele is a great porn name.

The last three articles of yours have literally convinced me to buy your books.

... pheh, stupid people and their words. You know what I meant!

Yeah, but I'm having doubts as to whether they were plastic.

I'm very much aware of that. But condoms have always been just as much about not having the babies as it has been about not having the herpes, so it's nice to see strides made in the no-baby area for those of us who are with partners we can trust.

I don't care what the solution is. I just want there to be one. Collectively, we've been putting tiny trash bags on our dicks and praying for the better part of 200 years. It's seriously about time we get something that seems like it belongs in this century.