I just want to go home and hug my doggy now.

All gaze upon the cuteness that is my doggy.

I have 1 dog. She has 4 beds. And several pillows. I cannot imagine with 4 dogs...

So I'm supposed to post a photo of my puppy here, right? Here's Coleman after a rousing round of fetch:

Summer Jobs also teach you that there are people who do these shitty jobs full time, year round, so you better hit the books if you want do something else with your life.

I mean... I don't have the statistics hand, but .01 percent seems way lower than the rate of sex offenders in the public at large. So, really, Disney is, statistically, the least likely place for your kid to get victimized.

CNN's findings are enough to make you view the whole place askance

I'm sorry, but I think this shows a really impressive screening process by Disney rather than some negligence on their part. 35 out of 300,000 when you know every child predator in the world would list Disney as their ideal job? Kudos to them.

The numbers reported by CNN represent one one-hundredth of one percent of the 300,000 people we have employed during this time period.

My once non-existent white butt is now a strong independent "and that's the night the lights went out in Georgia" Julia Sugarbaker-type because of leg day. It can do whatever it wants thanks to barbell squats, weighted lunges and deadlifts. This lunatic nonsense makes my butt as angry as racist Atlanta society types…

How about the dumb Italian-American guido? Or pizza tosser? Or mafioso? Everyone seems fine with trashing us. It's never even on the list.

Probably gratuitous at this point, but... this little 10-week old ball of fluff had absolutely room-clearing gas because we were still feeding him the puppy chow that he was getting from the rescue. It was actually pretty hilarious to see the transition from squee to horror on people's faces when they nuzzled the…

My recently-adopted Boo Radley challenges this girl to a fart-duel.

Doggy Tasteful thinks nothing of curling right up next to her humans before ripping some silent farts. But look at this face!

I don't get why anyone has a problem with breastfeeding in public, but I do wish people would stop changing their babies in public.

Well, firstly, LYSISTRATA.

I sometimes feel like women won't be taken seriously as actual human beings until we start getting really violent and nasty. In the short-term, we'll be seen as "unstable bitches." But if we start inflicting the kind of terror on these men that they inflict on us, maybe they'll start seeing us equals. Ladies, let's…

ALL LOOK SAME.

They were batshit crazy to receive. However, I gave them WAY more money based on their effort. Go for it.