I suffer from phone illiteracy!!

Ty “one on and drive and you’ll be in trouble with the” Lawson.

Chessboxing is easy. Now Riskkarate, that is hard!

I can’t decide whether he is more Jake Wyler or Steve Holt.

Driving the speed limit is driving like an asshole! I have places to go!!!!

The tarp was angry that day, my friend. Like an old man returning soup at a deli...

And here he is in his younger days.

n. Routinely insisted that white guys have names like “Lenny” while black guys have names like “Karl.”

There he is right there. His good buddy...um...LeRoy or something or other.

Do you mean the first point 3 or the second point 3? But both point 3’s make good points.

He has been practicing for years, too. Just can’t seem to improve.

Don’t they know if you put in his name he is automatically created. Jeez!

Either way, streets named after men are way better than streets named after women.

Mets fans bad at English? That’s unpossible!

Years of intense radiation left his sperm mutated, his sun was the unfortunate victim.

Why don’t you review that beer that has the little candy in it, you know, Skittlebrau?

“Will you put that thing on already, I’m losing interest.” - his wife

My cat drives me around. #MyToonces