don't be that guy. no one likes that guy. you don't even like that guy.

That bet is typical despicable de Blasio strategy, pitting the Habs against the Habs-nots.

finger guns guy needs his own gif

Not bad, but my favourite Alley Oops is still when Kirstie was bobbing for apples in a tub of ranch and dropped her phone.

Pha, a phonetic spelling of a popular Vietnamese soup made from beef

Someone should have told the kid the five D's of dodgeball, "Dodge, duck, dip, dive and Dodgers are assholes."

Oh Tim, you're so naive. The Cavs, LeBron's former team, got the 1st pick. The Heat, Lebron's current team, got the 26th pick. 1-26? Do I have to spell it out for you? It's the number of letters in the alphabet. Now, let's break down that word, "alphabet." Al, a popular name. Pha, a phonetic spelling of a…

I remember when I played baseball as a kid, I was listless. Lazy. Slouchy. Then one day, my coach showed me the error of my ways by saying I should go fuck myself with two helmets covered in pine tar and duck-taped to a 34-inch Louisville Slugger. Sideways. Not only did I out-dive and out-routine every other player in…

It's ok to make 'a' joke, so let us know when you're ready.

They got Roy Green so doped up he spent 11 years with the Cardinals.

Girl my dick is like James Joyce: long and hard and forced on you in English class

"Baby, you must be Sylvia Plath 'cause you make me want to put my head in your oven."

"Hey girl, you must be Lucrezia Borgia 'cause you make me want to put something in your drink."

"Hey girl, you must be Margret Atwood 'cause I'm dyin' for your handmaid's tail."

Say what you will, but she's only hanging from that pole to help pay her way through college.

I'm so glad you asked this, qualityofpercyharvin, because it too is something of a quaestio vexata for me. In fact, any time I even look at a female athlete, the first thought that pops into my head is "I wonder where she falls on the spectrum of sexuality." After that, my second thought is "I guess it doesn't really…

HEY! GUYS! LOOK! SOMEONE MISSED THE JOKE!

I really do want to help, Samer. But could you please post a description of the cat instead?

From the outside I look like your average Johnny. Wife, kids, house in the burbs. We might have a dog, too, I can’t say. I may have the looks of a 38 year old, but on the inside I was dead. Until we packed the sedan and moved to Tampa.

I clicked the send button on my message to Inaction Jackson and was about to return to the final chapter of my copy of "P" Is for Punter when a head full of blonde hair suddenly illuminated my dark corner of the locker room. She had legs longer than a goal post and a short skirt that ended just before her end zone.…