I'm not a doctor, but...couldn't they just wait a few days and return to business as usual? The virus can't live outside the body more than a few hours on a dry surface (per the CDC).

Conspiracy theories are embarrassing. They lost because they scored FGs instead of TDs, not because the world is against them.

We've had some quality losses this year! So tantalizing! So much swearing!

You're the kind of Jets fan who makes it embarrassing for me to be a Jets fan.

To be fair, it would be a little unnerving to look across the stage at the guy you're debating and know he's getting his dick blown the whole time.

+1 Ascension Dunk

That argument is obviously cover for the real argument, which is "yeah, but he's really good at football".

If my experience is any guide, this would be by far the sexiest thing that ever happened at a bachelor party.

At those salaries I think it's more like Old Navy.

EVERYONE kinda likes that one!

Bro-tox sounds like the world's worst slang term for semen.

It may be the least of the problems with this du rag, but...Nightwalker?!?

Yeah, but it's a lot to ask of him to be able to hide it. That is most of the population.

Oops. I was only looking at the byline on top. I assumed one of the writers was just choosing to do this as a character.

It's probably for the best that nobody will ever know who wrote this.

He's a hypocrite too? Well now that's where I draw the line!

Well it's their fault for giving the palace a name that rhymes with 'Fuckingham'.

I really though it was going to be about this.

Now I understand why Dennis and Sweet Dee turned out the way they did.

Yeah, but...I don't remember a time when I didn't consider bacon to be one of my favorite foods. It was always the best possible thing to land on the breakfast table, long before any of this shit went down.