In the wake of Mitt Romney's electoral trouncing, his supporters have been threatening to move to even more socialist countries, like Canada and Australia. But, it now appears that science, of all things, has discovered just the right place for them. Astronomers announced today that they had discovered a…
In a hotly contested Congressional race in Georgia, Charles Darwin, the father of evolutionary thought, was unable to beat Republican Paul Broun. Darwin, well known for suggesting that men landed on earth after being deported from the Planet of the Apes, failed to unseat the incumbent, who campaigned on an…
Pat Robertson, a man who has a club named after him for how many times he masturbated in one day, is stunned by the prospect of women masturbating. Robertson, who is renowned for suggesting that people might not want to adopt children and that men should move to Saudi Arabia to beat their wives, was amazed that 30%…
The destruction caused by Sandy is estimated to be in the range of $50 billion. Thousands have been left without a place to live, utilities, and other basic necessities. Yesterday, The New York Times revealed what is probably the most damaging aftereffect of the super storm yet: tight jeans. Terming the tragic…
When you went to Wal-Mart today, you probably could not help but notice that the store was sad. That is because on Tuesday Montana voters overwhelmingly voted to deprive them of their humanity. Initiative 166 was passed with 75% of the vote, and states that corporations are "not entitled to constitutional rights…
