I dress better on days that are not Monday. I guess cause a weekend with kids is more exhausting than the workweek.

I stopped giving a shit about what I was wearing around... November. By the time I get into work everything is wet and cold and awful anyway, so what does it matter? My dress pants all have a line of melted salt in them from the walk to work, and all of my sweaters are pill-y nightmares.

I can't wait for pics of TWO tiny humans cradled in his giant arms. Sorry not sorry

I have scary visions of Starbucks taking over a la Taco Bell in Demolition Man.

I am so unqualified to vote in almost any of these match ups. It really drives home what a total square I am.

Anyone who picked Franzia over Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, GET OUT. 90 Minute is the Nectar of the Gods.

I can't believe some people seem to think that it is ok to stop a 5 year old having fun because 'boys might see their underwear'. That is ridiculous, disgusting and just so wrong. I would be furious if someone pulled that crap on my 5 year old.

Clearly, she's not this Amy.

The only fucks I have to give at the gym is when someone takes the cardio machine RIGHT NEXT TO ME when alllllll the other machines in the gym are open. There's a reason I work out at 5 am! Socializing is not one of them!

I love my microwave and I love my toaster oven. I will never get rid of either!

Why is it that *most* people who go on about "self respect" when it comes to the way girls dress are the ones who like to put ALL the onus on girls and none of it on boys.

I work in an office where the clothing ranges from t-shirts, hoodies and jeans (unisex) up to sport coats and dress pants (for men) and business casual dresses (for women). And nobody wears the same type of clothes everyday. T-shirt one day, skirt suit the next. You can't be non-conformists because there's no…

Imma let you finish, but the best drug PSA of all time is "I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!"

I got one for men, unless you want to look like a kid playing dress-up pay the extra money and get a suit that FITS!!! That means the jacket too!

Surprised he had any money left after his relationship with that Nigerian prince a few years back.

How dare you make me choose between red and white wine. It's like picking a favorite child. I'm pretty sure this is going to traumatize me.

"We believe Texas women want and deserve equal pay. But honestly, Jason, we don't believe the Lily Ledbetter Act is what's going to solve that problem for women. We believe women want real-world solutions to this problem, not more rhetoric."

She is in the same financial situation I hope Justin Bieber finds himself in very soon.