The solution to the garlic press issue is a garlic peeler and a microplane

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle relying on a 24-volume World Book Encyclopedia

It wasn’t the Reds? Am I going to learn something on the Deadspin today?

Is there any MLB team left to root for? 

Is there any NFL team left to root for? 

The Saints, hilariously, have now ended consecutive seasons with Super Bowl-caliber rosters with one of the worst missed tackles in NFL history and one of the worst non-calls in NFL history.

Okay, I don’t see it in “live” action at that angle, but this slo-mo proves your point.

Okay, explain this to me like I’m a deadspin commenter.

I feel like this list was underexplained.

Mike Mitchell and Mike Newlin’s inability to score against the Sonics isn’t so unusual. Their defense hasn’t allowed a point in over 10 years.

Let he among us who hasn't declared war on Bill Laimbeer cast the first brick.

Nah, I think you were right the first time 

They’ll say it’s the 6th Division, but it’s really somewhere around the 3rd or 3rd and a half.

I remember Leapin' Lee Winfield, Downtown Freddy Brown, and Donald Slick Watts.

Any tips for alternatives to Acrobat?

No need to hurriedly dangle second contract in front of Machado. Every team knows he won’t hustle to first.

“Give the guy a break. Things have gotten real tight now that he can’t just use his charity as a front.”

[im such a moran]

He’s not among the first Arians who were Winston-likers