LATCH - You’re doing it wrong.

Fuck, they don’t sell it in PA. PA’s liquor and beer laws suck my ass.

I fucking love Hope & Glory. That movie taught me that looking at and touching boobs was a thing I should like.

If they pick Jimmy Carr...which they obviously will, I will shit tea and crumpets.

But what high school was it?

I got caught stealing - once upon a time. I didn’t try to steal again. It’s just as simple as that.

I should really not read these in the middle of a meeting.

That does not bother me. I would like to grill those moist fleshy nuggets.

I read three year old minis...

That thing would look so much better without the wrap.

Oh dear god.

I used to do my laundry there, and eat Subway there, on the reg in the late 90s.

Loose is the most disturbing description of tartar sauce I have ever heard.

Drinking with your boss is so dicey. Once a boss took me to a Rush concert and bought me large beers. We ended up at a strip club later and didn’t get home til 1:30am. Our respective wife/girlfriend were non-plussed.

Generally I’m just in there avoiding my kids/wife and playing Game of War or solitaire.

THAT’S what’s up

This man is clearly insane.

You may not be blasting her, but you are definitely putting her shit on blast.

Carrot cake almost exclusively uses oil.