Defense attorneys are working to lower the charge to aggravated breaststroke.

You'd think if any fans were going to accept more than one woman on the job, it would be the BYU faithful.

"Hey, could I get a cartridge of cheese?"

The Maple Leafs' planned response next game:

Better than Prince Fielder's new nickname, "Fat in a Hat"

Where's the red dot over Javaris Crittenton's house?

Wait. My ex-wife also has two rings, and she's the biggest bitch of them all!

Drafts, Ranked By Excitement:

He got beat by Dr. Dre

Judge: Mr. Dershowitz, explain again why you had your junior associate strike Mr. Clement with a briefcase?

Travelling or not, she still drives a hell of a lot better than Laura Bush.

This video was even better with the scenic views of Denver. Good thing they didn't have to do this over Cincinnati; their skyline is complete shit.

That's likely the only way to get a Cam to the championship game.

Chris Christie pushes weight around, threatens no exercise.

Buccaneers (staph change)

Throwing popcorn on a dude with a torn ACL is definitely a knee jerk reaction.

It was definitley aqib lock on that drive though.

"Let him think than I am more man than I am and I will be so."

-Richard Sherman

Always a shame to see such a good player have Talib a big game.

Uh, Tim, I don't usually like pointing out Deadspin authors' stupidity here, but it's pretty clear the cut man is actually Perez.