I feel compelled to point out that a good amount of the time, that is caused by the fact that your tank is full of fuel and you need to stop.

Why does a fuseless grenade need a pin and a lever?

Ironically, I find it very comforting to read that I’m not the only person who is in no way interested in what is popular on Netflix.

Yeah, I’m voting for the singularity. I just never expected SkyNet to coalesce in a video game.

Great. Now I’ll be spending the weekend pining for my one true love. Thanks a lot.

Nice! Thanks! A few of those things weren’t clear on the site. 

I’ve signed up for Lakeline, but I am not clear--if I do the +1 thing, that means I can always bring my wife, right? It’s basically 2 tickets per day instead of one?

Surely this should have been named the “Aubergenie”.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”

Oh man. I took a bean ball to the diagnosis once and couldn’t move for like 20 minutes.

.

Amen!

Thank the gods. I very nearly canceled our NetFlix account when they started that shit, but my wife still wanted it. It is unreal that they thought that “feature” would be welcomed by anyone.

I sat for an embarrassingly long time trying to find a uterine-based pun for “Stand your ground” but couldn’t find one. :(

At least one abortion, we can be sure.

That would make the abortion self-defense, which should be acceptable to them.

Do the cars only drive in circles?

My personal opinion is that history will not record it, because we will have better things to scratch into the stone that remains in our blasted future, like “Survivors inside” or “Water here”.

I’m not sure the people who wrote this list actually know any men.

I’m not sure the people who wrote this list actually know any men.

Ok, so if this is cooked on the same grill and therefore has 0.01% beef on it, doesn’t it follow that since it is cooked in the same restaurant and the grease is in the air, that even if they put it on a different grill there would still be 0.001% beef on it? I mean, what is the cut off?