I watched the video when it was up. The security guards are being incredibly patient, and she is being incredibly belligerent and kept trying to make the guards feel guilty about her sobbing 8 year old. Also, she wasn't kicked out. They told her that she couldn't be in the pit with an infant, but they could move her…

That's not Dov Charney, that's an unkempt Steve Guttenberg.

I'm actually really enjoying The Goldfinch; I was worried after The Little Friend.

My mama's a poet. She's been writing for the past 30 years. Her seventh book is coming out this fall. Her poems are good. (Admittedly I'm not an impartial critic.) And guess what? This book of Franco's LiveJournal entries is going to get more publicity and a bigger audience than anything my mommy ever wrote. Poor Mom!

I've made it a personal mission to incorporate at least one Kanye Quote into my daily conversations.

During one of my first forays into the bar scene, a random guy wandered over to the table I was sitting at while my friends played pool. He didn't say anything, just leaned on the table and pulled out his phone with a severely cracked screen.

At a really douchey preppy bar on the Upper East Side:

If this story doesn't win, the terrorists do.

I was 18. I had an older (40-something) neighbor. One day when my roommates were out and I was home alone, he knocked on the door. He held out a warm bottle of malt liquor, and asked if I'd like to have a drink with him. I politely declined. He said, "Are you sure? Because when I take my teeth out, my tongue…

On a late summer/early fall evening, I was getting ready for bed in my dorm room in Australia, where I was studying abroad.

So much this. Where we live, pretty much everyone takes their dogs to the same couple of parks to do their business (lots of high-rises, no yards). My dogs are perfectly friendly when they're off-leash, in a doggie daycare situation, for instance - but very aggressive when they're on leashes. Walking them in the park…

I'm definitely exercising wrong. Scotch neat, artisan cheeses, hours spent in front of the computer. Pretty sure that's all the wrong way to exercise.

Right now, Justice Scalia is super torn, because while he strongly leans toward ruling in favor of this dickbag's right to threaten his ex-wife with impunity, he's uncomfortable with the idea that he may, however indirectly, be endorsing rap lyrics. Or the Internet.

The 70s is hands-down the worst decade for fashion! I don't think I need to explain why.

I know - I feel like pit bull owners are also the most judgmental of people interacting with their dogs. "You stood to close to him! You moved too quickly! You talked with your deep voice!" How about having a dog that isn't going to attack a person for acting like a human being?

I tend to agree. The pro-pit bull people are SO quick to point out that "It's not about the breed! It's about the owner!" until they are publicizing statistics about how little dogs are more likely to bite (of course, not KILL or seriously injure) people - then we can make all sorts of generalizations about how…

Those pitbulls attacked the wrong person.

I can't believe anyone INVITED YOU TO THIS PARTY.

But what foundation does your neighbour's sister use?

Also titled, not entitled. (I learned that from a Jezzie.)