"I feel like I'd rather have a kid like me than a complete square incapable of taking risks, spending his entire life coloring inside the lines."

"My name is Wood Johnson and I'm a piece of shit ... all Jets fans should and most do, hate me."

The reason there is a push to encourage people to get vaccinated is because there is an ever increase in the number of people not getting vaccinated which is causing outbreaks.

The fuck is a "nip?" How old are you? Did you learn that during Market Garden?

nah... those dipshit squids where breaking every law of the road they could... and then one gets run over and they assault the cager? nah... shit don't work like that... you ride dumb, you die fast.

Please get the Hawk Harrelson call posted on Deadspin.

Dude you're hilarious, cause like Cleveland isn't the nicest city in the world, right?! Oh my god, so fucking funny, man. You win the award for best Deadspin comment of the year, congratulations.

Jerry?

It was worth it to get the fist pound from Jerry Garcia

I just assume Phil tanked because he didn't want to pay 63% tax on the $1.44 million prize.

This photo montage is better with this over top of it:

Gives an all new meaning to the position of "Designated Hitter"

John Daly Has a Kraft-Lover's Golf Heart

How a false dichotomy? To be realistic, being 'grateful' to the troops without supporting the cause means dick. So, I think the war was a wasteful crock of shit, but I think the troops service was just great. What the fuck could that possibly mean? If it means that I wish the best of luck and prosperity to the…