Rob, you’ve outdone yourself

Pfffffffff...

THE WORST INCARNATION OF ALL

What about tiddy?

Come on inside. Yes, you’re naked again. We all know. Come on. Yes, there’s more beer in here. No, Dad, it’s not any more of that fag beer from San Francisco.

Shut the fuck up sonny and turn off that Imagine Dragons bullshit.  You’re becoming a whiny little bitch.

Come in off the porch, Dad. It’s late.

I my J10 under there?

There was a house on the corner of a small 4-stop intersection I would occasionally drive by when I was a teenager. One day, had its front yard filled with barbed wire and stacks of tires and all sorts of things and signs all saying rather nasty things about the city and local politicians. When I asked my mother about…

Outside of the courtroom, Knight’s daughter said that she was “surprised he pleaded out” because “normally he likes the cameras to be on him 24/7.”

Dear Jalopnik,

Living in the United States in 2018, particularly if you are white and middle-class, is a soft existence relative to the whole of human history. We do not face the dangers and hardships that our ancestors, even just a century ago, dealt with in their day-to-day lives. We are a bored people. Whatever need exists within…

Well that’s one way to start my morning. 

I mean... on the topic of Things I'd Rather Not Know About, Cheetos dick ranks right up there. 

I think no one else did it because either they understood that punk isn’t an aesthetic that you can bluff your way into with duct tape and a few spikes OR their parents would buy them clothes from Hot Topic.

Ooooo I was NOT fashionable for many years. So this is the mid-90's, haven of all things burgundy and hunter green. And I LOVED burgundy and hunter green. I also was a big fantasy and sci-fi nerd. This is relevant.

I was five, and I had bangs. I very much did not want to have bangs. I asked a teacher how you got rid of bangs, and she told me you grew them out.