My wife and I are trying to have a baby. I'll be carrying the little gremlin (we're lesbians YAY) and she is planning on breastfeeding (with me). There are some hippie herbs you can take to make the boob juice happen, apparently. Anyway, she tells me the other night that not only does she think I should eat the…

Isn't that a part of every boy's growing up?

How did this passage from the article not make the cut? Fun stuff, right?

This reminds me of the famous Onion article, "Marilyn Mansion Now Going Door-to-Door Trying to Shock People."

That evening, Linda Schmidt was preparing to drive her daughter Alyssa to a Girl Scouts meeting when she found Manson standing on her porch draped in sheep entrails.

Two things:

Madonna spells about as well as I expected.

My rage towards the Holderness family knows no bounds.

Out of curiosity, what did the person think they were donating? Music?

That's Inception-level layers of denial there.

I like all the toilet babies! For real though, my cousin is a real life I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant baby, so I find that hilarious.

I liked the movie "Saved" where the gay kid was sent away to a camp with nothing but other gay kids and, um, well, he thought there were benefits to this.

I have a big extended Mormon family, and one of my favorite cousins is obviously gay. He's sort of close to coming out, but he believes so strongly in Mormon doctrine that he can't quite make the jump. He has had 3 (3!!!!) broken engagements. I don't quite know what to do for him.

"THIS IS MY SECOND TERM. IMPEACH ME. GO AHEAD I'LL WAIT."

I like this "whatever, I do what I want" Obama. He so clearly doesn't give a shit anymore, in the best of ways.

I was at a book festival where Giada de Laurentiis was doing a cooking demo. She suggested that people just throw out questions as she worked. The first question was from DerpLady, who asked "Can I help you?" Giada kindly assented. She was making white bean dip and told the lady to salt the mixture, handing her a bowl…

I once saw an audience member floss his teeth during the middle of a play. There's basically no level of audience member stupidity that surprises me.

A theatre professor of mine once worked on a show that cooked real food onstage. It was so integral to the script that they actually had a real kitchen built onto the stage. Part of this was a coffee pot. One night, during intermission a man walked *on to the stage* poured himself a cup, and one for his wife, and…

hard for the MEN and Women to find justice when they have been raped.

Senior year of high school, my dementia ridden grandfather thought Thanksgiving dinner was just starting (we had finished but the adults still were around the table talking and drinking) and tried to say the Lord's Prayer as he pissed himself, destroying my mother's sanity and a dining room chair. Simultaneously…

Just doing my part to call out those good cop sexhists.