I generally feel kind of cute after crying. A little bit of redness makes my eyes look really green, and my eyelashes look all long and dark. Shit, I should cry more often. Take THAT, marketers. Also, I would've said, "Right before my period." I can't believe that's not on there.

I SHUT THE BEDROOM WINDOW BUT NOW THE RACCOONS ARE UNDER THE BED!

I know I've posted this here before, but just in case anyone else needs convincing that the Roots should make ALLLLL the kiddie music. Seriously, I love this so much.

I really used to dislike her because I thought she took on the most obnoxious roles. Then all of that shit with Jesse James, and how she was just grace under pressure made me be like, "Woman deserves a break."

This seems like a reasonable service.

Chad, is that you?

Why do we have Pineapple Appreciation Day and not Regular Apple Appreciation Day??? This is reverse racism towards regular apples! STOP AFFIRMATIVE ACTION FOR PINEAPPLES!

If only there were a place were people could go to learn how to resolve disputes in a thoughtful, deliberate, yet-still-adversarial manner —- and not through huffy, longwinded letters that misunderstand fruit . . .

Can you believe fall fashion is!

The Westing Game

What if there is a cat on my bed, at what stage in the cleaning process do I separate the sheets and cat?

YES

I HAVE AN IPHONE and a pair of shoes that cost $70!!!

Me, too. He's so unfortunately homely, I feel compelled to watch just to make sure he stays employed. (That's what I tell the Mr.)

Then he sang:
Don't twerk my heart
My achy breaky heart
Don't twerk on my giant foam hand.
'Cause if you twerk my heart
My achy breaky heart
Robin Thicke's mom just won't understand.

"I also gotta say, darlin', I support you being a grown woman and explorin' your sexuality and all that, but what is goin' on with your tongue? I think that's what's makin' everyone think you're on drugs."-DAD

Do we really need to participate in body shaming though?

Yes, but sometimes people can be...finicky.

ah..now also says he did not see them with his own eyes.