"I have lots of ideas about such girls, but these ideas are not actionable because they don't allow [you] to get close enough,"

"Man back in mani pedi" is genius.

There's nothing wrong with remaking Ghostbusters with an all-ladeez cast.

This is hilarious. For the record, we have the originals immortalized on our living room wall.

I was honestly pretty meh about this idea until the screeching backlash started.

At this rate we'll hear from everyone at the party! (And evidently not one of them will consider the viewpoint of the actual sex worker interviewed in this post, FANCY THAT)

I wore my mom's dress. As she handed over the box to me, she said, "I'm sure you will have to take it in A LOT. I was very chunky in 1968." Cut to me trying on the dress a few weeks later at the alteration place. Dress fit me like a glove. That was like delayed shade.

I just...nope.

I was a sailor for 10 years we blew more than $40 in the first half hour.

They are going to ruin that club's night.

I love how she considers herself part of a 'safe crowd' that the strippers will be happy to see.

HA.

The strippers were happy to see corrupt, jaded, chauvinistic pigs like the lot of sailors I…

A (not) fun lesbian tipping story: Years ago I waited tables in a gay resort town that hosted a women's weekend every summer. It was seriously one of the worst weekends I ever had as a server. Any given Saturday night, I'd generally make about $150-200 after tipping out, but that Saturday I ran my ass off and made…

But you're sitting around to watch the dancers. So you have to pay the dancers.

If you only pay the cover, that's going to the club. The club without dancers is just an empty room. You have to make sure the dancers are getting paid. If you want to pay a cover to go to a room and buy drinks, go to any other kind of…

"Her mouth isn't a virgin," scoffed Carly

Hey, it still got you off.... work.

This HAS to kill off the remaining Cosby deniers, right? I mean, she pretty much preemptively shot down every conceivable excuse to discredit her story. She already has more money than she can spend. She's already well-connected enough that the theoretical notoriety from making this accusation would be of no benefit…

Once I was waiting tables and had a table with a couple on a date. No problems, totally unmemorable. I was watching from close by and saw the guy put the cash tip on the table. When they stood up to leave, the woman went to the bathroom and, once she was out of sight, the guy circled back and took the tip back.

That…

*approaches suavely* "Why hello there, cupcake. I couldn't help noticing that you're not paper-white. Mind if I ask why?"

I've heard of that whole stack of bills on the table thing before and I literally cannot think of a better way to guarantee your food will get fucked with. Seriously, don't piss your waitress off before your food even gets to the table.

I want Jason Momoa! Why does the beast have to turn into a little white twink when he's unbeasted? I'd take Jason Momoa in any form.

I really want that blue dress she's wearing.

Oh god, I swear I had Coffee Latte's husband the other day. Never in my life have I felt the stupidity ratio in a room rise so rapidly as when this guy opened his mouth.