Practical armor without boobs? JJ Abrams, you magnificent bastard...

Promoting the release of my latest book, CASTLES, and working on the next one in the series, THE LION AND THE FIVE DEADLY SERPENTS. If you like superheroes, check it out.

I always envisioned them ripping off the engines, warp drives, whatever they could find from other ships. I wanted to see the Voyager getting uglier and nastier every episode, with like seventeen mismatched engines gamma-welded onto the outside with an improvised superstructure. Basically, they’d become the Reavers of…

I'm Head Chef and Chief Bottle Washer for speculative fiction publisher Local Hero Press. I also write books about superheroes, the most recent of which (CASTLES) is earning loathsome reviews from people on the Ted Cruz side of the aisle.

So, basically, Crazy MacGyver.

More peyote, LSD, and shroom use out here in the Wild Wild West, I'm guessing. Also, more aliens.

Please let this be an April Fool's joke.

Well, no, because kilograms are heavier than pounds. Clearly.

My favorite unit of measurement is the metric assload (which is slightly larger than the Standard American assload), used to quantify a tremendous amount of work to be accomplished.

GO DIRECTLY TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE AND DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THE OTHER CHILDREN!

I'm looking at it like this. Instead of 16 segments, you've got two odd-numbered "shapes", one with nine segments and one with seven. You start on the "outside" of the nine-segment shape, and finish outside it, but because that nine-segment shape is part of a sixteen-segment shape, you begin "inside" the seven-segment…

Also, if you fold the paper this design is on, you can travel through time.

Ok, I'm no math guy, but here's my off-the-cuff reason why it's impossible. With an even number of segments, it SHOULD mean that for every "inward" segment you cross, you can exit over an "outward" segment. But of those 16, 7 are shared segments (both "inward" and "outward"), so essentially you have an odd number of…

Why is Star Trek on here twice, against Mad Max AND Ghost in the Shell?

Dude, that looks incredible. Tell your friend he does great work!

I wonder if the writers are angling to make Nyssa into the Arrowverse's Lady Shiva (the greatest martial artist in the world in the DCU). I would be 100% ok with that.

Watching Felicity eye-fuck Oliver during this episode was one of the most erotic things ever shown on broadcast TV. You just know she was screaming Ollie's name in Ray's bed, because she doesn't have a filter for her mouth (by her own admission this episode). Seriously, they have the Dick Grayson-Barbara Gordon…