Oh Lord yes on the shower thing. Please, only when it’s a really big shower with at least two showerheads. Otherwise, lemme get in here and get clean, okay? And no please don’t rub your greasy shoulder all over my face getting in when I’m on my way out either. Then I’ve gotta wash it again.

hope he lubed up.

Look, I was going through a bad break-up, OK?

Sorry, too busy shopping, having periods and crying to reply.

this sentence should be hyperbolic, but it isn’t. it’s just the straight up fucking truth.

thank god disisto is still alive...

I work with teens and I say this all the time: they are great. Fucking great. I like them than I like most adults.

Clearly, we did not attend the same high school. The one where I was beat up on the regular, spit on while people cheered, had “faggot” chanted at me by a hundred kids when I entered the auditorium for a lecture class, endured taunts of “name your gender,” and spent hours under overturned garbage cans, while people…

2939 Renwick St, Monroe, LA 71201 (318) 387-8441

I was in a band and on tour in the early 00’s. As we were leaving the western edge of Pennsylvania on our way to Dayton Ohio we gassed up at a station that had a hybrid Pizza Hut / KFC / and Blimpies food processing closet. Being a vegetarian roughly 5 hours from home I was overjoyed that the Blimpies, 1/3 of this…

(I am writing this on behalf of my dog).

What a dumbfuck, and so disrespectful. He opted to go enjoy the view at a stripclub for a reasonable $20 cover, and while the women are whores, he's not? He can go be a "superior" person OUTSIDE.

Fucker.

No, his fetish is being stomped in the balls.

Somewhat related: in middle school, right as I was walking in to my class after lunch, I realized, oh shit, my period! So I told the teacher I had to go to the bathroom (which was literally across the hall, ten feet away). He refused because "You had all of lunch to go to the bathroom!" I told him I had my period…

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."

I was so genuinely jealous of girls who got to use that excuse to get out of swimming.

I use Internet Explorer. Anything above 1.1 crashes my system.

You missed Bob's Burgers—duh, obviously Tina's a reader.

WHAT IS AN HERB

Re: the makeup question.