...That escalated quickly.

I would like to deeply apologize for the above comment. When I said “so long Jerkbags”, I didn’t mean to imply that the rest of you are, in fact, Jerkbags. I was suffering from exhaustion at the time and have deep respect for the Jerkbag community.

The secret service keep me out of danger...

The Marshall Project and ProPublica published a very, very good feature today about an 18-year-old Western Washington woman who was wrongly accused by police of lying about her rape. There’s also a glimpse at how they reported the story. The woman sued the city, settling for $150,000 in January of 2014.

Seeing people who have callously committed horrific acts on other people start to cry when forced to take (some) responsibility for their conduct always makes me hate them even more.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I’m ashamed to admit that when I first read this story, it crossed my mind to not believe her at first, based solely on her public persona (I only really know who Janice is bc of “Top Model” and “Surreal Life”). Not one of my finer moments, I’ll admit. However, I then realized…

You can tell he’s a true Bills fan because he’s so comfortable working from behind.

“Your parents hated other people more than they loved you. Now go play!” So fucked up.

Good! I hope they’re successful. Since the child will probably find out eventually, I imagine it will be less traumatic for her to be living with people who knew her parents as something other than monsters when she does.

I so want somebody to talk about the need of more gun control that I do not care.

Yes! I sent this tip. As someone who knows Stacey Newman personally, I can attest that she is one of the most kick-ass women I have ever met. She is always fighting the good fight for women in Missouri, and is someone we can all be proud of. Plus, she’s super nice, smart, and funny.

Truthfully, no lives matter. We did nothing after Sandyhook. Kinda shows that we don’t care who dies, even little kids. Once you’re okay with that, the discussion ends.

Excuse me, America. Are you quite finished yet?

Now if only I had a screaming baby. I never thought I’d say that, but I want to try this shit out.

well I’m shocked.

A fellow parent gave you the stink-eye for calling your kid a jerk? There is not a parent alive who hasn’t called their kid that or worse. I love my little boy dearly, but there are times when he’s a real asshole; I have no issue saying this.

Ugh, remember how back in the day there were like, countdown clocks for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turning 18? STILL NOT OKAY.

I spend most of my time sitting on my ass, so I imagine 3 seconds isn’t gonna be that hard to accidentally do.

I wonder if she was concerned about critics accusing her of overshadowing the work or making it about herself, given that it’s such an iconic poem.

Now Daddy can stay home.