Somebody wanna translate this for the flyover states?

It must be hell knowing everything

Can we seriously clone Dave McKenna 31 times, because I'm mad he doesn't cover my team and I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that

Yeah seems harsh

Insubstantial and ethereal Ann Richards is a better governor than Rick Perry could be in 100 lifetimes.

wait, the same Vevo that neuters all its Youtube videos into unwatchability hosts that?

Will some enterprising young twink just go ahead and take Rick Perry down already?

Weird decision to crop the main pic to show just his tats.

Why is it when I look at John Skipper I hear a very high pitched voice squealing REMEMBER ME, EDDIE????

Hell, Jez didn't even cover another awesome-asskicking woman in the news today for good reasons.

Not actually the dumbest response to this so far

It's time to confront the possibility that Skip Bayless has magical powers.

Awwww. That's the cutest embodiment of Zionist world domination I've ever seen.

lol literally all Chip Kelly has to do is not go 0-16 to run the clock out.

I'm happy as hell this happened, but isn't the (GOP-dominated) Senate just going to reintroduce the bill the very next session? What's to stop them next time?

If you put this under a UV light you can read his special "FUCK YOU, GOT MINE" tattoo

17 seconds feels like about how long they left the cameraman hanging after the 2nd goal.

New York Daily News runs photo of underage First Daughter in Daisy Dukes, removes photo- BUT YOU CAN CHECK IT OUR RIGHT HERE ON JEZEBEL DOT COM

Let's talk about Shelby County, Alabama for a minute.

Scarbinsky is a valedictorian of the Skip Bayless At Least You're Talking About Me School of Sportswriting.