She should Sioux!

Ugh. If I’m ever eaten by a 23-foot-long reticulated python in the remote village of Salubrio, I hope the villagers who discover me at least have enough respect to film the extraction of my corpse horizontally.

Looking nice is for women. Men can look however they want as long as they can afford to buy nice-looking women as property. Read the constitution sometime, geez.

Donald Trump isn’t a billionaire and he doesn’t have a ton of cash. Only Duestche Bank will loan him money because he’s helping them launder it for the Russian mob. His properties are all probably being used as fronts. One in Soho already got busted for that exact reason. If he had a ton of liquidity, American banks…

Too bad he didn’t have these men to protect him:

They crossed out “wine” in the school Bibles. They now tell the story of Jesus turning water into juice.

Never forget.

I know you dumb fucks are upset that we see that you are dumb fucks, and we think that you are dumb fucks, and we call you dumb fucks, and we don’t agree to validate your ignorance and coddle your prejudice, and some people think we’re not supposed to call you dumb fucks “dumb fucks” anymore, but I’m old school. You…

Just ask Boaty McBoatface.

I hope he sends Han on a run to steal Twinkies from Jabba the Hutt. This will be the reason Jabba had the bounty on Han.

Obviously someone got an 11 killstreak.

Only $69.88 at Harbor Freight with a coupon

Mara vs Rooney 2: Deflategate Boogaloo

Fake truck nutz are boaring.

Now THAT’S how you jack.

All of these guys should start their own 140 character social media website. Maybe call it... Bitter? I dunno...