Julie

5/6/15

I. HATED. PAT. Hated the character so fucking much. I had short hair and liked “boy stuff” and was a late bloomer so my knuckledragging classmates called me Pat. It didn’t matter that I identified as a heterosexual female. It didn’t matter that I looked like a girl, albeit not an ultra feminine one. All that mattered…

5/5/15

There’s one that parks in the lot near my office every day. Such a toady little car.

4/24/15

I’m really disappointed that I had to scroll this far down to see a bitcoin reference.

4/22/15

In my ~35 months of breastfeeding (one kid, I’m a dirty hippie about this, she finally weaned this month HOORAY) I don’t think I ever nursed her on the toilet. I’m sort of surprised it never happened, though, because there were definitely times that if I held still long enough, she’d try to nurse.

4/17/15

If the kid has allergies and has to be on a special prescription formula, $80 a week is not an exaggeration.

4/4/15

I am still boggled that the paleo nuts are not also breastfeeding nuts. How is anything more paleo than human breastmilk for human babies? Bonus: it doesn't include lethal doses of vitamin A, which is not something you can say about his baby formula recipe.

4/2/15

Because you are OLD and therefore NO LONGER SEXY and also you are TRYING TOO HARD. Or at least that's how it was mom-splained to me. Hooray, internalized misogyny!

4/2/15

Oh god, my mom tried to explain that "rule" to me as a kid and I thought it sounded like bullshit as an 8 year old. She was telling me about it as she was snarking on a coworker of hers who kept her hair long and also happened to be very conventionally attractive. It was total mean girl shit even then. My mom keeps…

3/27/15

Oh I don't know. I'd put Kansas up against Indiana as a pretty strong contender for "most embarrassing in the Midwest." I guess we're more prairie than Midwest, but still. Kansas sucks pretty fucking bad.

3/23/15

Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one who read this as colossal, shitty shade throwing. He could have come out in support of Clarkson without airing his dirty laundry.

3/20/15

I am in no way a MUA but her lipstick was making me insane. It was weirdly crooked and yeah, somehow they managed to minimize the size of her lips. WHYYYYYYYYYYY

3/20/15

Ambitious, but rubbish! It's the Top Gear way.

3/19/15

Apple/iTunes already did mine. Got a whole $7.50 back. Would much rather have had the episodes. :(

3/18/15

I'm super sensitive to mascara and most of the drugstore stuff irritates my eyes like crazy. The one kind I've found that I get along with is Clinique's Naturally Glossy. Not super cheap but not crazy expensive. It's not the most waterproof mascara ever, but it does the job fine and it looks nice without being clumpy…

3/18/15

3/16/15

Nobody cares about your boner.

2/26/15

Chiming in with the "it works if your partner is faithful" to add "and you are never a victim of rape." Because contrary to popular belief* there is nothing in the woman's body that will "shut that whole thing down," whether it's pregnancy or HPV infection.

2/13/15

How about pickles? My favorite trashy pizza is the "bacon cheeseburger" from a local place, and they put dill pickles on it before cooking. I can't explain it, but it makes sense.

2/9/15

I made the mistake of getting into an argument on facebook about this vaccine with some high school classmates of mine. They actually told me they would have no need for the HPV vaccine because they would be raising their daughters with "proper Biblical values." Because good girls don't have sex, and they definitely…

1/25/15

Because that's what's going to happen. ~~Kids are going to die.~~ Kids are dying.