No, but omg, now I really, really want one.

I have a ridiculously huge crush on John Oliver. You are not alone.

I just got that thing's big brother for scenarios exactly like this one. (Well, and on the off chance I drive into a body of water.) Not too expensive, not too big, could save a life. Easy decision.

And...meh, thinking about it, I think I'd rather have the keychain version. Decisions, decisions.

I definitely consumed caffeine while pregnant, but I cut back to between 14-16 oz coffee a day, so about two cups. I stuck with that through the first year of breastfeeding. Now that I'm in to damn dirty hippie territory, breastfeeding-wise (she's 26 months and only nurses a couple of times a day) I have let my…

I love that not only did he apologize to her for having to deal with that woman's bullshit, he did the humane thing and gave the new mom more caffeine. That dude needs a raise.

Dat cable management.

Oh my god, finally a reason to be thankful I live in Kansas. I actually got the breastfeeding mother exemption a few weeks ago. Checked the box, mailed the form back, BOOM. Exemption. No drama, no fuss, just a delay and a letter saying I could still be called at a later date.

You're not the only one. I reread it after my daughter was born and the scenes where they're running made my heart jump up in my throat. The part where Serena Joy shows her pictures of her daughter made me cry my eyes out. I figure at this point in my life I'd get Wifed since I've proven I'm fertile. Too many more…

Speak for yourself, prez. As the mother of a daughter, I'll be keeping a stash of Plan B at home when the time comes. Teaching our kids about safer sex and birth control isn't a one step process and protecting our girls from unwanted pregnancy isn't either. I'd sure rather help her take Plan B than take her to get an…

I saw Promethus about three weeks after delivering my baby via c-section. I wish I hadn't seen it. I didn't feel traumatized by my c-section but I still felt myself freaking out and started crying during that scene.

My heart breaks for the bio mom. No baby has been abandoned under happy circumstances. And it's not like she can just leave the baby and move on, her body won't let her forget. She'll have hormone dumping, lochia, her milk will come in and then dry up, and on and on. She'll have daily physical reminders for weeks or…

To say nothing of the physical and psychological recovery from childbirth. I took 12 weeks after an unplanned c-section and could have stood about twice that many.

I used an app called Pink Pad when I was trying to get knocked up and I'm pretty sure it cost less than five bucks. It was handy for helping me get pregnant but it was also incredibly illuminating to track my cycle so closely. I learned a lot and would recommend tracking cycles for a few months to any woman, not just…

God, that's my nightmare scenario. My first sonograms were to find out if I was even still pregnant after experiencing significant bleeding. (I was, and she's 8 months old now. Time flies!) After that I can't even conceive of turning that appointment into a "party." I think if I ever have another baby, the sonograms…

I had my baby the same day Jessica Simpson had hers. The thought of being pregnant again this soon makes me want to put my head on my desk and weep actual tears.

Meh whatever. Chocolate is my buddy. Chocolate has never given me a migraine. Five different brands of BCP and the Nuvaring, however, have given me migraines. So I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference.

I've been breastfeeding my daughter for the last 7 months (well, pumping at work) and have had none of the problems she describes in such painful detail. The original article about Tracie's nipple falling off and my own interactions with "lactivist cunts" just about put me off BFing entirely, but it came so easily to…

The fact that you did not post pictures should be a bannable offense. BANNABLE.

I got a Mirena placed at about 10 weeks PP, I'm BFing/pumping at least 8 times a day total, and I'm quite certain I've ovulated at least once. I told my doctor that I had no plans to even drink after my husband until that Mirena was in, and I think that was a good call. The bummer about using BFing as birth control is…