Pretty sure he'll still be the first guy to win the Triple Crown since Yaz (and being back-to-back AL MVP, despite being half a Miggy short of typical Cabrera for much of last season) and that most people, if they haven't forgotten already, will forget about striking out in the final at-bat of a series where his team…

He kinda sounds like the grandpa from The Goldbergs. #JEWISHILLUMINATI

Dang. Tornadoes are no joke. TV stations should put a weather wall in the basement, so they can broadcast DIY-style without the meteorologist risking his life staying out until near-death.

I... I can't help you here.

In some circles, CBJ means a covered BJ, as in a blowjob with a condom to prevent the spread of STDs. Relating any STD-prevention measure to Columbus, Ohio, however, is simply preposterous.

I love the Red Wings and I agree. Best moment.

At least Tim Tebow finally won something.

It's up there with the great tragedies in U.S. history, though. The movie, that is. Also, the actual event.

For No. 3, the movie or the actual event?

Funny, the segment you copied/pasted kinda proves they're doing a shit-ton of harm by spreading misinformation.

Well, I know which way I'm voting now. Thanks, Jesus foot soldier.

Loved it at first, then utter condemnation.

Still my favorite distortion.

All you need is a decently edited highlight reel backed by a song that has, like, drums and guitars and stuff.

I do not understand. What are these light beers you speak of?

Oh, fuck off. Cheerios are the absolute worst. Count Chocula or GTFO.

The real story is his patronage of every gang, even throwing up conflicting signs.

You elect 'em.

But if he plays his cards right, maybe he can get one of these...

At least she pulled the Fatality before he gave her one of these...