While we’re at it, why don’t we ban private institutions that pick names to deliberately trick the public into thinking they’re legitimately associated with the government.

Coworker with a daughter who had brain cancer left our company for a competitor who offered him a real health care benefit package, instead of the crappy one we have... Our corporate lawyers destroyed his life over the non-compete clause.

Yeah, I’m not holding my breath that this survives the current Supreme Court. Shit, they’re probably dropping duffle bags of unmarked bills in front of Thomas’ house as we speak.

“This feature can help with attending meetings that are happening in another room.”

Coincidentally, I created a meme four years ago today during the pandemic whilst we were in the midst of a nationwide TP shortage...

You’re thinking of a microwave. (or an MRI, like everybody else pointed out)

Seriously? They thought this might have been legit?

Because your incel messiah made a huge fucking deal about free speech absolutism as an explanation for why he was bringing hate speech back into the platform.

It’s an issue because Elon claimed multiple times that he would make sure that Twitter would keep its freedom of speech (which obviously never happens on a private platform). Facebook and Youtube never really double down on the free speech thing. They will put rules in place to protect themselves and enforce them when…

Didn’t WonkaWorld turn into a horror show for everybody but Charlie?

You know you’ve fallen pretty far when you’ve gone from shadow controlling world events to getting busted scamming 35 quid apiece from Scottish 8 year olds.

Wyre Wonka Fest.

“we fucked up a patch” isn’t all that wild a claim.

There was a similar outage on the Rogers network a few years ago. They simply messed up a software update.

BUT IT WAS ALIENS AND RUSSIANS!

“they’ve gotten lax in their standards and practices.”

This is so weird. My friend Brad who dropped out of high school is usually reliable when discussing current events. I guess even the great ones are wrong sometimes.

It's a Catch-22

He’s not going to let you fiddle his balls, guy. 

or feed it after midnight.

This was my favorite line: