Funny you should mention that, as I feel I'm at my best when I'm elbow-deep in someone's ass in front of thousands of people.

It's good to be back DU!AN

The title of that screwball comedy?

it's only natural that he reach for the hard stuff.

balaclava-clad youths with a lust for designer sneakers

That's pretty funny.

Curiously, a video of a complete wreck also comes up when viewers follow the commercial's instructions to "see the rest at GoDaddy.com."

Hehe.

In addition to being charged with careless driving, Coonelly has also been formally accused of the following:

The fat jury's still out

Jared is a grad student..."I usually don't pick things up off of lavatory floors"

Other things overlooked by Oscar voters:

Bailey had originally intended to major in Conservative Studies at MTSU, but was booted out of class after trying to take a bite out of what he assumed was a large, talking marshmallow standing in front of the chalkboard.

Half of these are references nobody's even made yet, so thanks, AAJA, for giving racists some new ideas.

Ha!

Okay, I am laughing at this.

I understand that keeping Salmon on ice is a bad idea. It can be a safety hazard, a distraction for the players, and it's been known to lead to disappointing postseasons for the Angels.

Sounds like your March was rife with conflict. This is why I did my undergrad at a nerdy liberal arts college where the sports are terrible, then did graduate school in a place with no undergrads whatsoever.

Don't lie. You didn't have mango curry. You just took down two dozen Mango Habs at Wing Wednesday, didn't you? Didn't you?

Ahhh, fuck! I applied for that position too.