Ya ever have peanut butter on a hamburger? It’s *phenomenal*.

It feels like they’re doing everything in their power to make social media about everything except your friends. “Here’s all the important things. They’re from celebrities and brands.”

Look at that Team North America logo, they *are* the heel squad. #HailHydra

Fun story: the RCS protocol is deliberately left open for interception: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=111527…

I posted your comment on Twitter, and someone replied that you were absolutely right.

My then-girlfriend and I went to a show right after Mink Car was released, and I was going to propose as they played “Another First Kiss”. They never played it, so I proposed outside after.

Let me tell you about fuckin’ Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

“It’s gonna be, like, 2 degrees? Nah, I’m good. I’ll stay here.”

Oh shit, you're right.

That’s not where that comma goes.

As a Toledo alum, I’m embarrassed. Zo had a hell of a career, and on his last game at the Glass Bowl, completely threw it away. Here’s to hoping Coach Campbell doesn’t even let him pack for the bowl game.

/furiously Googles the You Don’t Know Jack “Gibberish Question” intros

True story: “Let Me Clear My Throat” might be the best goal song since “Brass Bonanza”.

The Redskins Legal Team going with the new and untested “What about Hope Solo?” Defense.

I live in Toledo, OH, a city which you may remember had an issue with the muni water last year. And while the issue only lasted for literally 2 1/2 days, my wife has a friend who to this day refuses to drink water from the tap, refuses to drink any fountain soda, and will even refuse ice if it’s made with city water.

“Doctor to Surface, Doctor to Surface... Uh-oh. Uh-oh.”

I’ll never forgive my 7th grade English teacher for not taking us outside: there was a solar eclipse happening that was literally right above us, and it seemed like every class but ours went out to look at it. We stayed in and did vocab.

I just realized my original version of the joke was “researching”. Sheeeeeit.

“You see, FIRED stands for Fiercely and Intensely Searching for Employment Decisions...”

This guy loves him some acronyms. When he coached at Toledo, he had squad names for each group of players, and each one was an acronym. My personal favorite: the punt/kick return team was BRAVO: Being Relentless And Violent (towards) Opponents.