Nailed it with Higher Ed.

A former coworker of mine signed his emails "Namaste" followed by his name, and then a verse from the Gospel According to Matthew, like he was the stained glass window displaying all the religions in that goofy, non-denominational, interfaith house of general worship in the series finale of Lost.

I work in a field full of pretentious blowhards who talk about "wellness" like it's some secret. Nearly every single one of them have some odd juxtaposition of quotes in their email signature like "Be the change you want to see in the world" just above "May you stay forever young." I rarely read these, because I never…

How'd THIS guy get scammed?

Tabasco is ass, but what's even worse is any non-original Tabasco flavored Tabasco, like that green shit they had. It's like ass with diarrhea.

In Iowa, they have sneakers that look like bread bags.

For control, the appropriate question is, what were the PSIs of the Colts balls? Same conditions, should be similar PSIs. Even if they were inflated to 13.5 at the start, they'd still have dropped to 11.5, whereas if the Patriots balls were inflated to 12.5, they'd have dropped to 10.5.

Not the way I did it.

You beat me to it. I was shy enough, and so averse to awkwardness that I refused to consider expressing my feelings for the fairer sex until college, and even then, it didn't work out too well. It's a damn good thing my wife is even worse. I'm pretty sure the first time I asked her out, I waited for her to tease me,…

Marv Levy and Ralph Wilson approve this comment.

I think we're mixing our metaphors/promotions here. I've got Bash at the Beach 2000, Jarrett laying down for Hogan.

As lead counsel for Mr. Winston, I hereby order you to CEASE and DESIST from any further baseless claims that my client, Mr. Winston, has ever fingerpoked anyone without their express consent. The Tallahassee Police Department found NO wrongdoing whatsoever. Please remove this post immediately.

The welcome basket for the Bills perennial new head coach should be a north face parka, a bottle of Fireball, a Kelly jersey, and a copy of Buffalo '66 on VHS.

I guess I was considering the lapdance from the front side. The table would want to see my cock and balls flapping around as I gyrated on the chair (if this were, in fact, a lapdance.) I don't count that whole "grind the ass into the crotch of the lapdancee" thing as a lapdance. That's just buttocks-induced penile…

Nailed it. Becomes substantially harder if it's occurring in a meeting - it looks like you're giving the conference room table the world's most painful lapdance.

What sports news story (non-sexual) would you LOVE to come to fruition this year, and which would you give anything to have not happen in the coming year?

Fuck you this is just a song off of "Throwing Copper"

I'm betting she was extrapolating the level of hateful rage monster her beau would turn into in the Alabama comeback win scenario unfolding in her minds eye.

Glad to see Lark Voorhees landed on her feet working at a Duane Reade Minute Clinic. I always liked Lisa Turtle.