Step 1: Fill with tequila.

#11 Next White House Spokesperson - With Suckabee stepping down soon, Benito Tangerini will need a new mouth piece to lie to the American people every day on his behalf. This is a demanding job that requires nerves of steel. Shelby qualifies since she had the nerve to shoot and kill and unarmed man, and the caucasity…

“he faces charges”

He also briefly faced the sky, on-coming traffic, and ultimately a tree. 

He only feels this way because he has daughters and a wife and a sister and a mother and some female friends and he lives in the real world. Otherwise he’d feel just like those other guys.

Let’s not do this. I have lots of friends with mental illness who are perfectly capable of understanding that this is bullshit.

Given their quality, I’d say the dinghy should be called the “Sea Runder.”

I wonder if Hagrid would be just a standard minifigure in this one

... he blinded me with science (and a death ray).

This is a stupid article. Which Is Scarier, Space Or The Ocean?

1. Space is scarier than the ocean.
2. Things in the Ocean are scarier than things in space.

CP at any price.

She should troll Trump and name it Pocahontas.

She could name her Thoughts and Prayers.  This would be the one instance that sending Thoughts and Prayers into a situation could actually make something better.

I’ve love to argue against your prediction, but I’ve already seen police officers claiming that filming them is illegal, so yeah, b) is what will happen.

Borrowing this from another thread because it’s just so appropriate:

It seems like an opportunity for this family to open up their OWN weed dog treats is in order. I would love this to be a lesson. Go ahead white people and be bigoted, busy bodies...we’ll ruin your businesses and take your jobs!

not new, but maybe to you!

“The First Lady turned to the children and in a sweet but somber tone began, ‘I truly understand your pain. Day after day, trapped. You don’t know who you can talk to or who around you actually cares. Even with all the fancy toys,’ as she gestured to some games and potato chips the children had scattered around their…

I totally misread that as you saying you designed and built the actual SR-71 and I was about to totally geek out all over you... For which I apologize anyway.