Having a least favorite Kardashian is like having a least favorite STD.

E!’s new series Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian is based on the idea that if someone wrongs you, you can get back at them by altering your body’s shape and size.

In the great hotel room
There was a telephone
And the fake news
And a picture of –
A callgirl giving him a full moon

Fuck I’d vote for the Patrician right now if I could:(

At this point, I wish this too. I genuinely think that Pence would be better, because I don’t think that Pence would get into a nuclear war over a few insults.

It’s stress, too. For the first time in his life, he’s being held accountable for the crap he says and does.

So we’re really gonna do this, huh? This is actually happening? And how do I know I’m not in a coma somewhere hallucinating all this?

It is so, so bad when Mike Pence is a better option.

He has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old

Despots tend to have an allergic reaction to having to be held accountable to a free press.

This is it, comrades. We are witnessing the rise of American fascism right before our eyes. Mark your calendars.

Can I start calling him Hitler yet?

He’s good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like him.

She raped and murdered her own child, but she is out on bail. That is fucked up.

You’re right; it’s called a plan. What a pair of monsters.

The cop was left for dead by his crooked partner. The Indian fled the rez where he grew up with his abusive dad. The construction worker fights a crippling meth addiction. The leather daddy is played by Ben Affleck, at the studio’s insistence that Batman appear.

Meanwhile, they’re talking about not moving into the White House so as to not disrupt poor Barron’s schooling.

My god the next four years are going to be a fuckfest.

Thankfully, we can still look back on chefs and cooks like Alton Brown and Anne Burrell, who handled raw meat...and then immediately reminded viewers to wash their stinking hands. Although I can only recall one instance of Alton Brown specifically saying “lots of soap and lots of hot water” (or words to that effect),…