The Secret Service took him furniture shopping earlier in the day.

I like candidates who weren’t rushed offstage, okay?

haha, here’s the mug: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B013OBR9WS/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1. i’m gonna fill it with champagne on tuesday and drink away my feelings.

I think Sarandon is voting with her brain. Too bad her brain is petty and entitled.

“You rarely see authentic portrayals of people of faith.”

but Corey Lewandowski is still on the payroll.

Self absorbent guys arent all bad. You can use them to clean wine spills.

Between the human asshole that is Donald, an actual Weiner, and reminders of Bill’s inability to keep it in his pants, it has never been clearer why we need more women in power.

This election is the best argument there’s ever been for telling all children “no” loudly and often.

I had been dating this guy for a few months, and after a relative’s funeral, I met him for drinks (beer and wings). We went back to my place, eventually went to sleep, and I woke up in the middle of the night and was immediately violently ill. No time to even turn my head. I threw up chicken wings and beer all over…

Oh omg this just reminded me so vividly of my own similar experience: I was in college, watching a movie with this guy I was sort of seeing. Not a lot of comfort between us, yet, is what I mean. Still in the hiding our farts phase. But I really liked him. He lived in an old house with a bunch of housemates but they…

Oh my god one time in freshman year I was in Harvard Square at 1 in the morning having just tried to stop the dam against drunkenness at Felipe’s and I really had to pee to I ran down into a loading dock and only discovered after I was done that I had accidentally soiled a pigeon.

A lot of people look like EAP. None, in my opinion, more so than the young Bill Murray.

This only adds more evidence to my theory that being a famous person is like living in a really, really small town.

Trump: Contra. That’s means with, right? Like chili contra queso, right?!

HOW IS YOUR SISTER A TRUMPETTE?!

Congratulations, you just helped Dan Quayle complete his crossword puzzle.

evangelical host Pat Robertson said that Trump was “just trying to look macho.”

I doubt it’s a hoax, because every creepy rich guy seems to have ties to Epstein.