Bingo,Carlos's posts

Am I the only person who can’t keep Ryan Seacrest and Carson Daily straight? Are they the same person? I am pretty…

What are they like? Will I want things? I am confused. !!!!! DO NOT MAINPAGE!!!!

I would hide things under chairs in my house. Then whenever I had guests I'd be like, " If you look under your…

Bad news: My head has exploded!!

So there's an excellent Mexican Grocery store a mile from us where we do a lot of our shopping, and I am so…

That we grow past the phase of putting anything that is in our hands directly into our mouths. That would be effing…

(Scene: My mother's formal living room, where we are all lounging after eating our weights at a Fish Fry. My husband…

I want to read it every single fucking day.

Jerry Seinfeld?

You know how people ask what superpower you would choose if you could? In the middle of the night last night, as I…

All this time! Like, every time I read about her being so anti-vaxxy or some of the other views she has, I thought…

Should I just get rid of all of my old bras? I have about 9,000 of them, they're taking up a ton of space, they're…

I have always been the former, but lately I feel like I've been becoming the latter. I find myself thinking "Fucking…

When you're still trying to get over being sick and having a plugged milk duct, your husband is just getting what…

And I'm not ashamed. And I'm sad that I wasn't a teen now that he's popular rather than dumbo-dildo-douche John…

http://www.andre-champagne.com/Quiz/

Cold Duck used to look like this:

Why the hell is getting a haircut so stressful? Also, why when I google "curly haircuts" is it 90% images of Beyonce…

I am terrible at dressing up for semi-formal occasions. I mean, I manage to pull it together eventually, but it's…

We have an energy auditor here today (long story but very interesting, features POTENTIAL FREE MONEY) and he found a…