I ran what he said about Rob Lowe in a quick Baldwin > Sane People translator and I'm fairly sure it was really:

I just feel like I need to say this: After your children are born, your happiness should now be second to theirs. Your childrens' needs should always come first, and a prospective parent should consider that before making such a huge commitment!

Benedict Cumberbatch does nothing for me, you ladies can have at him.

I was watching The Outsiders a few weeks ago (man were Tom Cruise's teeth jacked up!) and that movie was stuffed with hotties. Rob Lowe, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze... goddddammmn! I hadn't watched it in a long time and boy was it super-sensitive and emotional; it was a movie about rough boys and gang fighting.

The answer as a parent is you get out the camera as quickly as possible and capture that moment before they notice you're recording. The second they start paying attention to you, it's over and you don't get it back. Little Beans figured out what the camera was at about 10 months and would stop doing whatever she was…

You are fabulous, and your children are going to be fabulous. Thank you. <3

on a ski trip a few years back we took space bags that are compressible by vacuum. of course we had to make sure we would have a vacuum on the other end... but they allowed us to fit more equipment in a small amount of luggage!

I do this regularly. Bring a warm coat, preferably of something compressible like down or one of the down-like fillings. Don't put it in your carry-on, just carry it; you can stuff it into an overhead bin after folks have put luggage up there - there's usually at least an inch or two of space and that's all you need.…

I like that the tag on this is Expensive Shit because it's a costly item, but this milkshake will also literally produce expensive shit.

I had my kid at 39 because it took a long time for Mr. Wonderful and I to find each other. When I meet younger moms I tell them they are lucky to be so young because motherhood is exhausting and you do not have the same energy levels in your late 30's and early 40's as you had in your 20's. I was so exhausted by…

"I am going to flick her without a condom and cook in her condo."

GIVE IT A BRAKE ALLREADY!! You keep on dragon Richies name threw the mud. It says right in your story that she signed an AGREEMENT. She agreed that she liked what he did! Compleet nonstory..She probably told Richie to rub his junk on her so she could get pregnint, just another gravedigger looking for money!! We…

Racial Epitaph:

The convention is typically to stop using months after 24 months, but up until at least then, it makes a huge difference. Enforcing the unit "years" on a child at that age is about as silly as telling twenty-year-olds that they can only measure their age in decades.

I get you dude, true words. But for those who are raising small kids still, there's such a big difference between 12, 18, 24 months, anyone with kids those ages can relate to me putting it out that way. But yeah, I can see myself getting annoyed as you did especially before I had kids.

It turns out he was saying cereal this whole time.

(I misunderstood)

I didn't go to preschool. I went to public school my whole life, and my high school was kind of getho. I graduated magna cum laude from a great undergrad university, have a great resume for my age, aced my GMATs and can now get into pretty much any MBA program I want. I'm not bragging, I did well because I had great…

I want to get pearl clutchy about this. I really do. But as soon as the kid playing Tio whizzed by, I legit almost pissed my pants laughing.

I'm calling bullshit on this entire article. Half of this stuff is just outright wrong.