+1

“Be gentle.”

He was planning on just hitting a solid line-drive single, but was so disgusted with the other team for not plunking him in the back that he decide to take one deep.

Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you.

+1

I got pictures of Chip Kelly, Ed Sheeran, and Lenny Kravitz in my sidebar for this article, so it’s clear that the definition of Fuck Boy has been inculcated in the culture for a long enough time that Kinja understands it.

(Sees bikini line tattoo.)(Catches hella vapors.)

Reporter #1: Can you believe that scumbag Petrino having the audacity to expect people to respect after that horrifying wreck? What gall, what absolute nerve. People should not get to come back from an embarrassment like that.

Lee Carvallo’s - this American wheat is so refreshing after a hot day of lawn mowing the only challenge will be putting it down!

Pretty selfish of that grass smoker. Any real fan knows Nole prefers edibles.

cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...

+1

At least they caught the typo in the first draft.

+1

Q: Backwards, Softball, Trick

This was so close to a really good joke and then you had to keep writing. So close.

The fuck do you think the Russian power structure was? Lotta Brown-skinned people in the Kremlin?

Worker at National Museum of Spoor and Feces: Buddy they won’t even let me fuck it.

Kerr won’t have to worry about any shots Iggy takes at him as long stays about fifteen feet away.

I don’t care if it was completely staged, it was satisfying.