Weird. When I imagine Link and Sheik from Ocarina of Time melded together, unsure where one begins and the other ends, united by their inescapable fates, there are SO many more cartoon penises in cartoon vaginas.

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"I'll assume you mean I'm a Big Intimidating Tough Coach Harbaugh, Brandon. See how I flipped it? Cha-ching! Score one for Jimbo."

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(Types Google image search for "Deadspin contributors.")(Swipe) Barry Petchesky, (Swipe) Tim Burke, (Swipe) Greg Howard, (Swipe) Tom Ley, (Swipe) Raysism.

Look, Steve Alford is not a mother fucker, per se. As anybody who watched IU knows, he was fairly useless taking it to the hole and only looked to get shots off when he was way downtown.

In that moment, perhaps he became aware of just how absurd his own existence is.

This whole scenario seems unlikely. They wouldn't have the opportunity to fight since Richard Sherman would spend the entire time arguing with third base about who the hottest corner in the game was.

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Pick-up games are easy with a Ford. Try doing it with a Subaru Brat.

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"Do not believe the man from San Francisco. I will not even use his name as it prompts in me feelings of contempt and disgust. This man is a disingenuous liar and dissembler. I am a decorated NFL player and attended Stanford University which, as you know, is a rather well-regarded institution of higher learning. And I…

I feel like the line will get to about -5.5 for Denver with all the sports talk this week. At that point I will have a hard time not betting Seattle to cover.

This was a joke. It's not as funny as I thought when I wrote it. The joke is that the most egregious error in judgement in the picture was not the weed, the blunt, the drank, or the movie about drug kingpins, but rather his choice to purchase an iPhone 5c. He has lots of money and should have purchased an iPhone 5s.…

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This is fucking awesome.

It may not have been an L.A. clipper, but it was definitely on a Hollywood-type boat when Robert Wagner gave Natalie Wood a once-in-a-lifetime dunk.

Ban these motherfuckers, KW. Burneko did it to someone for complaining about chicken cutlets. CHICKEN CUTLETS.