omg

I graduated from boot camp the day before Thanksgiving. During the 12 hour drive home I got to hear all of the family gossip including that my uncle came out of the closet. My uncle was adopted shortly after I was born and we were pretty much raised together - so him being gay was anything but news to me. The next day…

This is a sad, not funny story, but Thanksgiving is always a little bittersweet for me because it was the holiday I realized my first marriage was over.

You see, young Elvis was a tricky little brat. In Kindergarten, I was riding home with my dad, brother and brother’s classmate. My brother’s classmate was going to be doing a Thanksgiving play, and I decided that I wanted to be in one too! The catch was, it was Tuesday evening, and tomorrow was the day of said play I…

My mother in law walked in the door with this article clutched in her fist for my husband (really for me, the liberal heathen) to read. Sigh...

Last year my brother’s fiance’s daughter’s boyfriend declared Natives a “pestilence”.

I live in a building with my landlord. Below our apartments is a small, privately owned photography shop.

THE STORY, repeated:
***

Solution? Have only brothers.

1) You are the most badass. There should be ballads written about you.

So, this isn’t a food service story, but hand-smacking brought it to mind.

Abstinence is the only effective form of birth control? They’re saying this so close to Christmas?

I’m downstairs and she’s upstairs. My snoring and unwillingness to go to bed at 8:30 are the main reasons. We don’t have a problem with it.

late to the conversation, but I wanted to share with you that my bar regulars threw me a graduation party when I finished my doctorate—complete with a jazz band, great food, plenty of booze, and lots of gifts.

Oh... Santa. Oh... goodness.

I have to say thank you for this Mark, the timing for me is awesome as I just got back from the emergency vet's office with my beloved Lefty cat. Who's now a corpse. He will live on in my memories and my compost pile, and I am mourning his passing for real (all jokes aside, he was a youngish Kool Kitteh that didn't…

This was absolutely delightful. I love my job, but now I want to work in a place where a bucket o' cats is a reward, and not a running joke on how I AM GOING TO BE THE CRAZY CAT LADY BECAUSE TOO LATE

omg i am LAUGHING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

My father is really bad with cats; once I placed an especially sweet, kissable kitten on his lap at a family party, and his hands curled up to his chest and he whispered "Please take it off of me, I don't know what it wants."