I am a vegetarian, who sometimes eats fish. I still call myself a vegetarian, because most omnivores are prying, intrusive dipshits who feel it is their duty to interrogate anyone who doesn’t eat hamburgers.

This is exactly correct.

With love from Minnesota... Anything! Well, almost anything, to keep my car from dying a needless death 8 years after it left the assembly line. Seriously. Fuck salt.

My favorite thing I’ve ever read. Thank you, sir.

Uhhh... What? All I see is $279. Did it disappear in the 2 hours since this post?

Uhhh... What? All I see is $279. Did it disappear in the 2 hours since this post?

Bullshit! This was a gimmicked canoe flip. No way does a canoe, already run ashore, just tip over.

Until proven otherwise, I assume every cop I encounter is a fucking idiot. They have no one to blame for this but themselves.

Oh Sweet Corn Holin’ Christ, I hate everyone in those photos. I think I’m going to rip my eyes out and smash them with hammers.

I think that reading this just confirmed that I am pro wrestling fan. I read the entire thing, I don’t have a fucking clue what any of it meant. Fuck, I’m stupid. Oh well, rasslin!

Heather Yamada-Hosley- blow it out your ass, sister.

Seriously dude, blow it out your ass.

All Republicans have are really stupid ideas.

To everyone in Indiana, thanks for Mike Pence. May all of your roads be filled with cable trucks and ice. Jerkoffs...

Halfway through episode one, and I already had my doubts about this show. By episode two, I was becoming stunningly bored. By episode three I realized I wasn’t really paying attention anymore. By four, I was done. I tuned in to see the finale and it was everything I hated it for, slow, overwrought and dull. Enough…

Fuck the Wilfs. Fuck the Vikings. Fuck the people who okayed this building.

Is this, like literally, your first time to Deadspin, pal?

Uhhhh... So, I can’t just buy a ticket on my stubhub app and show the bar code on my phone at the gate anymore? What the hell am I missing?

That sir, is one of the funniest comments I’ve ever seen on DS. Well done.

Just as long as this literally wasn’t the first time you’ve seen the Vikings play in the postseason, then this was nothing more than “Business as usual”.

Ha!