Why would God let this happen?

the good news is we have self-lacing shoes

And....good luck with that

Tiramisu. Tiramisu.

California Beaver is still my favorite VHS tape

Oh yeah, well I was just playing a little coronal hole in the backyard

People buy a lot of Ford Focuses, too

People buy a lot of Ford Focuses, too

Not saying it’s a metaphor, but it’s a metaphor

for once

Oh really?

When did this place turn in to neogaf?

My son went to school today in an Endor tshirt, with a Chewy hoodie and Chewy backpack. I might be overdoing it (although I’m totally buying this book).

I saw him play at URI and remember thinking he’d be the next great NBA star. He was a freak (I'm talking about his athletic talent here).

Let's leave your sex life out of this

Yeah I wish I was an Orioles fan

Well that wasn't condescending at all(e)

You went full Magary there, Chris. Breathe through your nose. Do some yoga.

That might be the worst idea ever. Are you a studio VP?

That would be a great origin story

Just make sure you use a Trojan