It sucks that the only actual human option for Prez is being human and wondering if he should be this race

I'm Ted Nugent and I approve this message.

Here’s hoping they don’t release them to the public...

He looks good and not at all hypertensive

You had me at cum

Why do I have to choose only one?

Steve!

But dat hair tho

I heard Bey was dropping Jay for K but Jay was fucking Kim just to get back at him. It’s really hard to tell North from West and Blue from true these days.

I don’t think this excuse is going to help me when I get caught boning the nanny, but I’ll try it!

My dog had a stomach bug this weekend and puked a few times. Looked a lot like that biscuits and gravy bag.

But what about the clean up?

Lately I’ve been having the same dream about The Mountain from Game of Thones where he charges at me with that ridiculously huge sword but the just before cutting my head off he stops and picks me up and carries me out of the arena like Richard Gere while Joe Cocker sings and then I’m suddenly a navy pilot on a…

Where is Craggs when we need him?

My virginity. Ok, technically I haven’t sold it yet, but I’m running a Labor Day special:

Well that clears things up

I was really hoping to get your opinion on this. Thanks for sharing!

Don't confuse me with the facts